Before you fall asleep

At night before I fall asleep, I try to imagine what the next day might look like. I try to come up with more for myself to do. There are obvious options: clean, organize, exercise, cook. There are hobby-type things I could do: color, sew, scrapbook, write, knit, read. These are the things that I do on a regular basis in small amounts (except knitting, I do a lot of knitting).

In New Jersey, I was overloaded with family and activity. Every day I went to sleep knowing that the next day would be full of family, friends, good food, and meaningful action. I fell into a deep sleep easily, slept well and woke up excited about each day.

And then we came home. Back to the land of no family, few friends, and even less to do.

I want more. I want to learn new things and meet new people. But more than anything, I want a community. I miss my family in Albuquerque and I miss my family in New Jersey. I don’t have family here, not in the way I mean. The kind of family that you choose, that chooses you, that loves you because they want to not because they have to. It took me ten years to accumulate that family in Albuquerque. It’s not going to happen overnight in Tucson.

I don’t know where to start, but at the very least, I’ll try to be grateful before I fall asleep. And maybe that gratitude will lead me to the next thing.

Here’s what I’m grateful for today:

  1. The technology that allows me to visit my family on the other side of the continent.
  2. My incredibly supportive and loving husband.
  3. My sweet, soft, and snuggly doggies.
  4. The luxury of time.
  5. A warm and comfortable house.

What are you grateful for?


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