We went hiking in Bear Canyon this weekend at the Sabino Canyon Recreation Area.
Because of all the rain on Friday, there was a lot of water running (at least by Tucson standards). There were six and a half of us.
We hiked two miles into the canyon and then stopped to let the “half” get out of the stroller and run around. Then half of us went back to the car and the other half (including E) went on to Seven Falls.
I am very much a couch potato. I both work and relax on the couch and I don’t get out much. It’s been a couple of years since E and I did any hiking and this brand of hiking (which was mostly pavement and smooth trail) was a (mostly) good way to ease into it. Four miles was pretty ambitious for me. I can walk four flat miles no problem, but walking up and down the hills was a stretch. I was very glad that we went with a one year old so I had an excuse to turn back once we reached the turn off for the two and a half mile hike to Seven Falls. It does look beautiful though.
Hiking with a group of people is always anxiety inducing for me. Since I wouldn’t call myself a hiker and I clearly don’t get much exercise, hiking with anyone other than E means I worry about slowing everyone down or ruining the trip for everyone when I can’t keep going. Before we went, I told E he wasn’t allowed to leave me to walk alone at the back of the group. Though of course, once we started walking I felt guilty about that because it meant he didn’t get to walk and talk with his friends. They weren’t very far ahead of us at all, but even a few feet makes it difficult to have a conversation.
I kept up as best as I could and shushed E every time he asked me if I was okay. I hate drawing attention to myself in situations like this. I don’t want everyone to know that I’m struggling. The weather was beautiful and I really wanted to enjoy being outside, but the anxiety and shame of dragging everyone down made it really difficult to enjoy the walk. I powered through to the point where the group split, and the walk back to the car was much more enjoyable (despite the scorching sun). Knowing we were on our way to being done and having an idea of exactly how far we had to go was a big boost to my morale.
I’m glad I went, but am reminded of why I usually say no to these kinds of things. Too much pressure.