Learning to live with mental illness constantly throws me new surprises. Ups and downs are inevitable, but over the years I have learned that sometimes the ups are just as difficult as the downs. When I’m feeling better, I am constantly on the lookout for signs and symptoms that I’m slipping or going to slip back into depression. Even the most innocuous things, taking a nap, going to bed early, snapping at my husband, double checking if the doors are locked, can all seem like signs of my illness creeping up on me. 

When does it become possible to enjoy the good times? 

Pervasive self-doubt – another side effect to add to my list.