I find myself checking out much more frequently than I would normally care to admit. I spend so much of my time doing whatever I can to keep myself distracted: watching TV, reading, sleeping, surfing Facebook. The more time I spend checked out, the less time I have to spend dealing with myself.
How do I move away from these coping mechanisms and begin to simply live with myself? How do I learn to enjoy the responsibilities of day-to-day living, marriage, pet-ownership, home-ownership, etc? How do I become a person who is doing more than simply taking up space?
I know all of the platitudes about taking life one day at a time, one moment at a time. But when rubber meets the road, platitudes do nothing for me. If life is a collection of decisions, what does my decision to continually check out say about my life? I want to know why it has to be so hard.
I like my life. I like my friends. I love my husband, my dogs. I want to enjoy these things. I want to enjoy my life. I’m not sure how.