Some student nurses came today and talked to a few of us. It was fine and at the end the one who spoke to me asked if there was anything I wanted. I told her I wished there was more to do, more programming – that it would be nice to go outside. So she asked if we could and ten minutes later we were outside. Then we actually had a group therapy session. It was on the south unit and so were in group with people fro that side. The leader said she likes to keep her group “light” so we spent the whole time saying nice things about ourselves and each other. It was not useful.
Then we had lunch and after lunch we had “Art therapy”. I use the term therapy loosely because all we did was go to the art room, draw a little, and then the art therapist ascribed some emotion to whatever we drew. I drew the tree outside the window – according to the therapist it was strong and had flowering leaves with no roots.
I took Thorazine for the first time today at 9:30am. It didn’t kick until an hour and a half later and then it knocked me on my ass. I slept for an hour or two and kept getting woken up for all the activities we don’t usually do. I am still super groggy and out of it. I have felt drunk all afternoon and evening.
I am thinking of ways to die again.