Board Up the Bed

There are days when it feels like I’ve lost before I’ve even gotten out of bed. Today was one of those days.
Our puppy, Sanka, has taken to whimpering in the middle of the night until he wakes me up because he has to pee. Erik sleeps like the dead, so unless someone is jumping up and down on him, he’s sleeping right through it. Last night, the whimpering woke me up at 3am. I got up, took him out, and at least I can say that he pees the second he gets out the door and then he’s done, happy to go back into his crate, curl up, and go back to sleep. I did the same. Then 5am rolled around and Erik’s alarm went off. Time for him to get up and go to work.

On Wednesdays, I get a guilt-free pass to sleep-in. Wednesday is knitting night and I will stay up late so I need the extra sleep in the morning. So when Erik’s alarm went off, I rolled over and went back to sleep. When my alarm went off at 5:20am (This is my, make sure Erik is up and getting ready alarm), Erik was still in bed. I spent the next ten minutes cajoling him out of bed. And then I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Somewhere between 5:45 and 6am Erik came in and out of the room three different times because it was really cold today and he needed his jacket and his gloves, but he couldn’t find them and he was late so he was frustrated. By 6:05am Erik was gone and I could get comfy and really fall back to sleep.

At 8am, my alarm went off for the final time. It’s time to get up. Wednesday is counseling day. Every week, Wednesday is counseling day. If I don’t see my counselor on Wednesday’s, my week gets completely thrown off. You see, my counselor keeps me functioning. He reminds me that really I’m not that crazy, and really, I’m doing pretty well considering. But most importantly, he lets me rant and rave about whatever it is that requires ranting and raving about. I love Wednesdays.

Despite this fact, it was very difficult to get out of bed this morning, especially since I had two soft, warm doggies snuggled up to me. So I didn’t get out of bed until 9:05am and my appointment was at 9:30am. But the office is only 5 minutes away.

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I got up, let the dogs out, and got dressed in extra warm clothes because Erik had the car and I was on the scooter. I made tea, put the dogs in the crate, and then preceded to search for the keys to the scooter – all over the house. By the time I heard back from Erik that he did in fact have both sets of keys with him at work, across town, it was 9:25am and I was not handling it.

I called my counselor, rescheduled, and resumed crying.

I should have boarded up the bed at 3am.

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